


Do I Consent?

by Mickey_99



Series: Haikyuu Soulmates AU [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blood, Child Abuse, Consent Issues, Drugs, Hospitalization, M/M, Polyamory, Rape Aftermath, Soulmates, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:14:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24205756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mickey_99/pseuds/Mickey_99
Summary: Kunimi's story.(Part of a series)
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira
Series: Haikyuu Soulmates AU [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736596
Comments: 21
Kudos: 279





	Do I Consent?

**Author's Note:**

> I am a bit later with this one. Kunimi's character study took me a little longer to complete before I could write. I love his character but there isn't enough to go with in the anime except for the 4th season. Anyways please enjoy.

I never knew my father when I was younger, and from what I understood he was still alive, but my mother never seemed to make a big deal out of it. Though she never seemed to make a big deal out of anything. She didn’t even make a big deal out of me. Well except to take pictures.

But that was normal right? Mom’s took pictures of their kids. They took pictures of their kids playing outside, pictures of their kids in the bathtub, pictures of their kids naked. And just like most boys, I grew tired of having my picture taken. It somehow felt wrong, exposed. And the older I got, the worse it got. Because after some time it stops being cute and endearing to see your kid naked, and eventually just gets creepy.

I was 10 when I approached my mom about it. I knew from interactions with kids that it wasn’t the norm to capture your child’s naked form with a camera at my age. And quite honestly, the camera had always made me feel shameful.

“Mom,” I said as we were sitting eating dinner one night.” Can you please stop taking pictures of me while I am naked? It’s starting to make me uncomfortable.”

“I’m your mother Akira,” She replied,” I can do whatever I want with your body.”

“THAT’S NOT NORMAL!” I shouted. I hated it. I hated how dirty the camera made me feel.

She stood up quickly from the table before walking over to me angrily. I soon found myself on the floor spitting up blood after she had back handed me. She picked me up by the collar of my shirt and yanked me kicking and screaming into the bathroom. I felt myself get airborne and then I felt an explosion of pain in my back as I hit the wall of the tub, my head cracking into the tiles on the wall.

I screamed in pain; white filled my vision.

“You listen here you brat,” She said, and I could smell the alcohol on her breath,” Those pictures are what make me money. So, you are going to sit there and shut up. And if you tell anyone about any of this, I will make sure to make your life a living fucking hell for as long as you live.”

I felt her turn on the water the bath. My clothes started getting wet, but I just couldn’t find the strength to stand.

“I am going to show you exactly what happens when you fucking disobey and speak back to me you little shit.” She was angrier than I had ever seen her before. She had been angry in the past. But never had hit me.

I felt her roughly shoving me down into the water. I struggled for breath as she held my head down in the water. The water was ice cold, and I let out a gasp as I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. Ice cold water bit at my throat. I felt myself being yanked back up. I coughed and sputtered for air, trying hard to focus my eyes so the room would stop spinning. I barely had any time to catch my breath before she was shoving me back under the water again. And she just kept going. It was like it was never ending. I felt like I was dying, panic was working its way higher and higher in my throat as it continued to go on. I was holding my breath for less and less time underwater. And the lack of oxygen mixed with the cold water was making my limbs ache. I was trying to spit out actual words. Tried to tell her that I would be good from then on. But the panic in my chest and heart kept me from forming words.

_Am I going to die?_

After what had to have then the 500th time getting dunked. I managed to form words.

“I’m sorry… I am sorry mom,” I said. I was in tears. My entire body was shaking, but I couldn’t be sure if it was from the cold or from fear. Maybe it was even a mixture of both of them.

After I said those words, she hauled me out of the tub and threw me onto the ground. I lay there in a shaking, shivering mess. I felt her stripping my clothes off of me. But I could barely move, and after that hell, I sure as hell wasn’t going to fight it.

“God,” she said,” You look absolutely wrecked, you might make even more money if I take pictures of you like this from now on.”

I felt dirty, exposed. She was selling pictures of my naked body to people, and that just felt wrong. I flinched at every shutter sound the camera made. I didn’t even know who it was she was sending it to. Hell, she probably didn’t even know. I wasn’t an idiot though; I was smart for my age. I knew some creepy guy was staring at those photos and getting himself off at the thought of being with me.

_Is it normal to feel this disgusting when something like this is happening?_

I was still shivering from the cold when she left the bathroom. I somehow managed to pick my incredibly sore body up off the ground, and when I looked in the mirror, I realized that my lips were a tint of blue, though they were starting to go back to their original color. There was a bruise on my cheek but that could be covered up by makeup. I suddenly was thanking god for all the times my mother had made me wear make up for one of her sick photo shoots.

_Maybe I should let people see it, let people get suspicious._

But then I remembered the feeling of being underwater, the feeling of ice in my lungs. I shook my head, no, I couldn’t do that again. The very thought of being near that tub, of being anywhere near water terrified me. The thought of her doing that to me again, **_terrified me_**.

**_That night I had learned that drowning would be an incredibly painful death._ **

I left the bathroom and lugged myself up to my room, where I collapsed on my bed and pulled the blankets tight around my shivering form.

It was in middle school that I met my soulmate. He was a hot-headed guy. But I thought him to be beautiful.

Before that moment, I had always scoffed at the idea of soulmates. The universe recognizing the person you will meet in life who fits with you best. Someone who you were destined to love and be loved by. Afterall, my own mother couldn’t love me. And weren’t parents always supposed to love their children.

When we met, we both knew right away. Most people liked to draw something on their hand that remained there at all times before they even meet their soulmates. Not everyone did it, but the boy standing opposite of me did.

“Wow!” He says grabbing my hand and I had to resist the urge to pull away. My shoulder was extremely sore from the beating I had gotten the night before. I spared a glance at what he was admiring so much and noticed that on both our left hands there was a rainbow heart. “You’re my soulmate?”

I suddenly felt self-conscious, the boy was eying me up and down. A part of me wondered if he could tell what my own mother made me do at night, the pictures she made me pose for, just by looking at me.

“You’re beautiful,” He said,” What’s your name?”

“My name is Kunimi Akira,” I say. My voice sounds bored, and I winced because I was probably fucking this up already.

There was silence for a moment, and I shifted awkwardly as I realized that he was staring me up and down again.

“What’s uhm… What’s your name?” I asked, trying to get him to stop staring.

“Kindaichi Yuutarou,” The boy said sticking out his hand. Despite having a head like a turnip, the boy was incredibly handsome. And I realized briefly that his personality was a perfect counterbalance to my own.

I smiled a small but noticeable smile and shook his hand.

“Do you play any sports?” He asked.

“Volleyball,” I said quietly.

Suddenly there were hands on my shoulders,” Awesome,” I hear Kindaichi say,” Me too, we should totally join the volleyball team together!”

I was a little taken aback by his excitement, It, seemed like this guy had a lot more energy than me. But what did you expect from someone who could only sleep 3 hours each night?

Later that day, after classes, Kindaichi and I went to the gym to sign up for the volleyball club. After getting there I recognized a student from one of my classes. The only thing that stuck out to me were his eyes. They looked like mine every time I looked in the mirror after waking up in the morning. They looked guarded and broken at the same time.

“You’re Kageyama Tobio right?” I asked approaching him.

“Yeah,” he said shifting awkwardly on his feet.

I stuck out my hand to shake his, but he took a step back. Kindaichi seemed to bristle beside me at the rude action, but I simply lowered my hand back to my side.

“Sorry,” he said, he brought a hand up to the back of his head.” I don’t like being touched. It’s just a thing.”

I nodded in understanding, though Kindaichi seemed to want answers about it.

“Huh?” Kindaichi says,” What? How come?”

I watch as Kageyama shrinks slightly under Kindaichi’s gaze.

“Stop it,” I said calmly, smacking him on the back of the head. “Some people just don’t like touch, there doesn’t have to be a reason. Don’t hound him for something he might not have a reason for.”

Kageyama seemed to send me a grateful look, but he still took a step back away from Kindaichi. Luckily, I seemed to be the only one to notice or Kindaichi might have spoken up again.”

“Either way,” I said,” We are all first years so we should probably stick together.”

“Yeah!” Kindaichi says smiling,” How about it, friends?”

“S-sure,” I watch at Kageyama stutters to force the words beyond his teeth.

“My name is Kunimi Akira.”

“My name is Kindaichi Yuutarou.”

“You already know mine is Kageyama Tobio.”

That night when I got home, there was another woman in my house. My mother was standing with her and they seemed to be arguing about something.

“I’ll get rid of you if you can’t bring in more of an income,” the woman shouted,” You’re boy has got such a pretty face and you are wasting it with the pictures you take.”

“I am trying but there are not enough customers who want to try him, they all flock to the others. They all want that small kid. Or they want your son.”

“I can send you plenty of female customers who want a boy like yours,” I hear the other woman say,” I can even give you some drugs to ensure he’s pliant and ready.”

I stand there, not really understanding. I understood the concept of rape, and I understood the concept of sex. But I also knew that I had to get an erection before being able to do anything with a girl. There was just one problem.

_I wasn’t attracted to girls._

It wouldn’t be possible. It wasn’t. Right?

“I’ll send his first customer over in 30 minutes,” I heard the woman say,” Use the time until then to get him ready. Take some pictures, shove something up his ass, give him the drugs. Either way have him ready. I unfroze myself, and I briefly wondered if I could just run away. But then the woman was passing me.

She had long black hair, and piercing gray blue eyes, her hair curled softly almost in waves. But there was nothing soft about her demeaner. She looked at me as though I were a dog in a cage. _Merchandise_.

She reached down and grabbed my face in her hands. Turning me side to side to look at my face. Meanwhile I was to afraid to even pull away.

“Right now, you aren’t pretty or cute enough for the men to want you,” she said under her breath,” But I imagine you’ll start attracting the male customers by high school.”

Somehow, I got the feeling she wasn’t even talking to me, but to herself. She pulled away and left through the door.

I took a breath before yelping as my mother yanked me towards the bedroom. I felt her opening my mouth by force before shoving two tablets on in my mouth and forcing me to swallow. I tried coughing it back up, but my mother slapped me hard across the face.

“Keep it down!” She said angrily. And I was too scared of being forced to go through being underwater again to fight.

She grabbed me again and slipped off my clothes before tying me to the bed posts.

I watched as she glanced down at my dick.

“You’re still small,” she said irritated,” But maybe that’s what this girl likes.”

I felt my face flush, of course I was small, I hadn’t really hit puberty yet. I was underaged. And I really didn’t want to do this.

“This is rape!” I managed to get out, but my tongue felt heavy in my mouth. And it was starting to feel like someone had shoved cotton down my throat. Not only that, but now I was starting to get hard. I felt shame color my face.

“Honey,” she said, and she sounded so condescending. “Women can’t rape men.”

I felt tears prick at the edge of my vision because all at once my skin felt prickly and I felt like I was being forced under water. I felt like I was floating somewhere between the afterlife and my own body. I felt sensations, something wet sliding around my dick. I could see images. My mom filming. The girl who was on top of me.

I felt like crying tears of frustration as my usually sharp mind struggled to piece together what was happening. It felt like it was there on the tip of my tongue. But I just couldn’t reach out and grab the idea. I couldn’t grab any idea.

When I came to, I felt sticky and dirty. My arms were sore from being above my head all night and my mind was foggy. I was tired.

_Women can’t rape men._

My brain searched and searched for an answer.

_But rape is when you don’t want it? Right?_

My head was pounding, and my throat was dry.

_But you got hard, doesn’t that mean you wanted it?_

I let out a choked sob because I had just met my soulmate the previous day. And he was such a good person. Did this mean I cheated on him?

Suddenly, there was a rock in the pit of my stomach, and I felt sick.

I got up quickly to run to the bathroom, but I found the world was tilting on its axis at soon as I stood up.

_It was probably the drugs she gave you._

I slowly and lethargically got ready for school before trudging there. Normally I was a person who liked to conserve energy, I didn’t like expending more than needed. But today it took every ounce of energy in my body to even act like my normal self.

That was saying a lot.

It kept happening in the nights that followed, and then for even more time after that. The aftereffect of the drugs caused me to be tired at school and slow at practice. But that was nothing new.

My only saving grace was Kageyama and Kindaichi. We were always hanging around together. We were best friends it seemed. Kageyama even became somewhat comfortable with a high-five from me, or a pat on the back from Kindaichi. But the second year rolled around. And suddenly it was like something inside Kageyama snapped.

“Come on Kindaichi!” He would shout setting the ball impossibly fast. “I know you can hit that!”

“Kunimi!” He would yell,” You’re not even fucking trying.”

And I would bristle, because he had no fucking clue how hard I was trying to keep up with him. Kindaichi looked dead on his feet. And my body was tired. I had no energy. And logically I knew that he didn’t know my condition because I had never spoke about it. But emotionally I was getting sick of his shit.

“He’s acting like a dictator,” I muttered under my breath,” A king. A king of the fucking court.”

I heard a few snickers from behind me. I felt kind of bad because I hadn’t meant for it to be heard by everyone.

_I hadn’t meant to start that nickname._

Part of me prayed that maybe Kageyama would never find out I had, but another small part of me was hoping maybe he would find out.

That second part of me was right, because suddenly I was being avoided by my best friend outside of volleyball practice.

I still tried to talk to him. But pretty soon I found out that any pleasant conversations the two of us had in the past wouldn’t be happening anymore.

And I decided I was tired of it. I had enough shit to deal with at home. I wasn’t going to put up with this too.

Kindaichi still tried and he was trying so hard to keep up with Kageyama. He tried to hit the sets Kageyama sent. But by the start of third year, we both decided we were done trying. We were both done with the hurtful words he sent our way. Done with feeling inferior. We were done.

It was on the night that we both decided this that I went home to find my mother gone, and a male in her place. Beside the male was the woman from years ago. The one who told my mother to put me through that drugged up hell. She stared at me as I walked in.

“This is your father,” said the woman,” He’s been gone. But your mother went away, and he had to come back.”

Something in my blood went cold as the woman in front of me said that.

_She killed her. I know it._

I didn’t cry over my mother, but I felt scared for myself. I nodded slowly.

With that she left, and the man took over what my mother had been doing before. Nothing changed except for which parent was doing it.

None of us thought it possible, but third year, Kageyama got worse. He made underclassmen cry. He set faster, yelled louder. It was like he was a violent storm of temperament issues and lack of communication.

It was during our last game of junior high that we snapped. And though I’d never admit it, something inside me broke at how betrayed Kageyama’s face looked after no one moved to hit his set. It was like suddenly he realized something bigger than himself. The emotion was palpable. His very energy radiated self-loathing and insecurity.

I briefly wondered if I had made the right decision. But before I could dwell on it anymore Kageyama was pulled out of the game, and we continued.

We lost.

After the game, I watched as Kageyama grabbed his bag and practically sprinted away from everyone.

Later we left without him because he was taking to long. But with the knowledge that Iwaizumi-san and Oikawa-san would take him home for us, we left without worry.

Highschool felt like a rinse and repeat of middle school. Except suddenly at home I was getting hit a lot harder. My dad would take pictures of my beaten body and laugh as tears poured out of my eyes. When I was being held under water by him, I could feel his hands drifting. It was like he was stopping himself from doing anything to me. And while I was glad, he showed control, it made me uneasy to know he had to control himself in the first place.

It wasn’t long after starting high school that Kindaichi and I saw Kageyama again.

He was different. He seemed more… _relaxed_.

It wasn’t hard to see why. There was a tiny ginger on their team, and though at first, he was a mess, he really proved that he could keep up with Kageyama.

Not only keep up with him but trust him.

I felt a flash of jealousy and just by looking at Kindaichi I could tell that he felt it too. I felt a pang of loss as I watched my ex-best friend get along so well with the short middle blocker.

But on top of jealousy there was amazement. Because this little player could light up a room with his energy.

“So how is playing with the king?” I heard Kindaichi ask at some point when he was across from the shorty.

I watched as the short first-year looked Kindaichi straight in his eyes,” Good, but I don’t give up on him midway through a game, so that might be why we work together well.”

I watched as Kindaichi bristled and I felt a bit miffed as well, but I was more focused on the way that Kageyama kept stealing glances over at Iwaizumi before looking away quickly.

We lost the practice game to Karasuno, even with Oikawa coming in at the last minute.

Kageyama tried to apologise after the game, and I listened as Kindaichi all but told him to shove it.

I walked into the bathroom only to hear Kageyama speak again.

“We’ll win next time too,” before turning to walk with the short middle blocker who had also walked in in the middle of the conversation. The two were bickering with each other, like brothers. But I stopped short as I watched the short player put his arm around Kageyama’s shoulders to give him a hug. And my jaw dropped as Kageyama hugged back. The hug was brotherly, but somehow a pang went through my heart as I realized what I had pushed away.

Life at home kept escalating. Some nights I wouldn’t even do anything wrong but still I was being held down underwater.

Not only that, but I felt like I was living a double life. Because I couldn’t tell Kindaichi that I was sleeping around behind his back.

_It’s not rape, if you enjoy it._

I would think this all the time. No one was going to listen to a male saying that females were raping them. They sure as hell wouldn’t listen if you got hard every time.

So, I kept quiet even though it was killing me. Even though I felt dirtier and dirtier every day. Even though touch started making my skin bristle. Even as my ribs were cracked and as my picture was taken.

_It’s not rape, it doesn’t count._

The next time we had a practice game against Karasuno, they won again. Though Iwaizumi and Oikawa had been distracted the entire time by finding out that they had a third soulmate. Hell, Oikawa didn’t even land one service ace.

But as the two happily proclaimed about their third, I noticed Kageyama give a small smile. And suddenly I had a sneaking suspicion that he knew more than he let on. I brushed it off though, we weren’t friends.

I felt had for pushing Kindaichi away all the time when we were kissing. But sometimes my mind couldn’t handle touch. He would just smile and say it was fine. And my heart would flutter in thankfulness.

After beating Karasuno in our first official match against them, I watched as Oikawa stared haughtily at Kageyama. But the look Kageyama had in response was unnerving. His eyes were empty. He seemed to be in a daze. And part of me wanted to reach out to Oikawa and tell him he should back off.

But Kageyama and I were no longer friends. I didn’t need to worry myself, right?

Later that night the team went to celebrate. Kindaichi and I sat with Iwaizumi and Oikawa. I watched as Oikawa wrote something on his arm. Likely for his soulmate who only communicated through writing.

“Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi growled after reading the message,” stop saying shit like that. Tobio really looked up to you and that’s just cruel.”

I watched as Oikawa waved his hand about.

“It’s not like he’s going to see it,” Oikawa says starting to eat his ramen.

Something in the back of my head said, _famous last words._

But my thoughts were cut off by Iwaizumi’s phone ringing on the table. I watched Iwaizumi pick it up and check the caller ID before going a little bit from the table so we couldn’t hear him when he talked normally.

But all three of us were watching. Because it was a well-known fact that Iwaizumi didn’t answer the phone during meals. He thought it was rude.

Hajime seemed to say something into the phone. There was a confused look on his face, then there was concern. Before he seemed to say anything else.

I quickly got up along with Oikawa, all of us worried something was going on with the team.

“Who is it?” Oikawa asks.

“Is everything okay?” I ask.

“Can we do anything to help?” Kindaichi throws in.

Iwaizumi ignores us. His fist was clenching his fist and biting at his lower lip worryingly.

“Okay,” I heard Iwaizumi said,” alright I’m listening. Just tell me if you’re going to be okay or not.

Suddenly we all knew it wasn’t about the team, maybe it was someone on the team. But either way Iwaizumi was concerned for someone.

We kept quiet, not knowing whether or not speaking would be a good idea.

“Where too?” We heard Iwaizumi ask. Though he seemed to be gripping the phone harder in his hand.

Something heavy settled in my stomach as I watched. I had a bad feeling and looking at the others’ faces I knew they did too.

We all jumped as suddenly Iwaizumi was raising his voice.

“What was that?” The panic was clear in his voice and he moved towards the table, grabbing his keys in his hand that wasn’t holding onto the phone.

I watched as he suddenly froze, his eyes were glassy, and a pure look of terror ran across his face.

“Kageyama I don’t think you should be alone right now, where are you?”

Suddenly the three of us not on the call stumbled back a bit.

_Kageyama. Shouldn’t be alone._

I looked over to see if Oikawa was going to protest, but it seemed like the look of panic in Iwaizumi’s eyes was enough to keep Oikawa from complaining.

I watched as Iwaizumi’s eyes suddenly widened and he took off at a dead sprint.

“Kindaichi, Kunimi,” Iwaizumi yelled,” I need you two to go get the Karasuno team. Find their captain or coach. Tell them to meet us at the hospital!”

Kindaichi and I both froze. We watched as Oikawa slid into the passenger side of the car. Through the rear-view window, I could see Oikawa being handed the phone. And before they pulled out of the parking lot, I saw tears in Oikawa’s eyes.

Kindaichi quickly called Karasuno high school, receiving the volleyball coach’s number, before calling the coach. Afterwards we both ran to the bus stop to get a bus to the hospital. We had to wait 20 minutes for the next bus to come. And while we were waiting, we both watched as an ambulance passed up in the direction of the hospital.

And I cried. I felt Kindaichi pull me into a sideways hug. He rubbed my shoulder and I turned to wrap my arms around him. Kindaichi didn’t say anything and didn’t ask me to explain. He was just there for me.

When we finally arrived at the hospital it was easy to find Oikawa.

He was sitting in the hospital waiting room, his shoulders were heaving, and his head was bowed. He was hunched over his hands and staring at them like they were the devil and as I got closer, I noticed why.

His hands were covered in what I assume to be Kageyama’s blood. His sports jacket was sitting beside him ruined from blood. And even his shoes had dried blood on them.

“Oikawa-san?” I heard Kindaichi ask. And I watch as Oikawa shakes his head. Indicating he didn’t want to talk.

“Kindaichi,” I said calmly,” Call that coach back and see if one of their players could bring Oikawa some new clothes and shoes to wear.”

“Oikawa-san,” I said gently,” Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

I helped him stand by grabbing his elbow before guiding the shocked man to the bathroom. When we got there, I made him hit on the counter before scrubbing at his hands with a wet towel.

“He’s our soulmate,” Oikawa mumbled quietly,” Tobio-chan is my soulmate. And even though I used to hate him before, I just can’t now that I know the two are the same person.”

“Well you and Iwaizumi have been writing to him for a while now. You got to know him in a different way than just your ‘annoying underclassman’.” I said trying to keep him talking. The guy was obviously in shock. Having him talking was a good thing.

“How pathetic is it that I only realize how much I love him after he dies,” Oikawa says crying.

“He’s not dead yet,” I say, I am now taking off his shoes and wiping them down with another wet towel.

“I’ve felt the bond go numb three times,” Oikawa says. “His heart has stopped 3 times.”

“Is he alive right now?” I ask.

I watch as my Senpai nods. I briefly hear a knock on the door, and I walk over and open it to see Kindaichi holding out some clothes.

I thank him quietly before shutting the door and walking over to Oikawa.

“Oikawa-san,” I said,” Here change into these.”

He nods, not even complaining about the fashion sense.

“He used three different ways to kill himself,” Oikawa says, though it seems like now he’s just talking to sort through his thoughts. “He took three bottles of sleeping pills and was in a bathtub full of ice-cold water.”

I winced thinking about what it felt like to drown. I didn’t want to know how badly you would want to die to do that to yourself. Even though in my heart I knew I had been that close before.

“And he did this,” Oikawa says flipping over his arm. And there as clear as day was a long vertical bruise. It was so blue that it was almost black, which meant that it was painful.

“He’s going to be okay,” I said,” He’s too stubborn to die.”

The words felt false on my tongue, but they still seemed to have the desired effect as Oikawa smiles a small smile before slipping into the clothes Karasuno brought for him.

Kindaichi and I stayed with the Karasuno team for most the night, until Iwaizumi came out of the ICU waiting area to where we were and told us that Kageyama was stabilized but that he was in a coma. I watched as Kageyama’s best friend, Hinata was his name, seemed to sink the floor in relief.

I got home late that night. But even as I was struggling to breathe underwater, I couldn’t find it in myself to care about it.

_Was it my fault?_

And that night I cried for my ex-best friend. And I prayed that he would be alright.

It seemed the next two months were the longest of my entire life. The beatings were getting more painful. My dad started groping me now. And I couldn’t help but feel more disgusting now than ever as he whispered in my ear.

“It’s not rape, if you like it.”

I felt myself grow thankful that it had never progressed beyond touching. But I still felt ashamed, used, and broken.

Two months later Iwaizumi called me. It was early in the morning and I was sitting on a park bench, I was trying to avoid being in the house.

“He’s awake.” Iwaizumi says,” We are going to surprise him at mine and Tooru’s apartment since he’s going to be living there now.”

“Okay,” I said quietly.

I asked him for the time. He responded and I hung up.

I was about to lay back on the park bench when my phone buzzed for a text alert.

I opened my phone to see the name Hinata Shouyou flash across my screen.

 **Hinata Shouyou:** He’s awake

 **Hinata Shouyou:** We are going to surprise him at the hospital

 **Hinata Shouyou:** Nekoma and Karasuno I mean

**Me:** Iwaizumi said we were doing it at their apartment.

**Hinata Shouyou:** Do I look like I care what Iwaizumi says? No. This is my best friend. And a friend to a lot of people. I am going to see him ASAP. Do you want to come?

**Me:** Sure.

I tell Hinata where I am before pocketing my phone again.

Later I smile, glad I chose to come. 90% of the people who were invited did. And everyone smiled when Hinata tackled Kageyama off of Iwaizumi’s back. Well except Oikawa and Iwaizumi who both grunted in pain.

Throughout the next few months, we saw a lot more of Kageyama hanging around. He wasn’t allowed to practice for more than an hour each day, and apparently making sure he followed that rule was increasingly difficult.

One-night Oikawa had stayed late to help us with extra practice, and Iwaizumi had gone home to ensure Kageyama had made it there okay. Not even 15 minutes after he left, Hinata came storming in dragging a complaining Kageyama by the back of his shirt.

“Great king!” Hinata shouts, gaining the attention of everyone in the gym.

“Hinata Boke,” Kageyama says annoyed,” Shut up you are going to get me in trouble.”

“Oh, you’re already in trouble,” Hinata says glaring at Kageyama. Kageyama pouts and refuses to look up from the floor. “Great king, your soulmate snuck out of our gym to be able to practice extra today. I found him in a park. It took me 3 hours to find him!”

Kageyama pouts and crosses his arms, meanwhile Hinata sticks out his tongue at him.

I watch as Oikawa pinches the bridge of his nose before picking Kageyama up and dumping him right beside where he was standing before Hinata walked in.

“Thank you Chibi-chan,” Oikawa says.

And with that Hinata runs out of the gym. I hear snickers as Kageyama sits on the floor with a pout on his face. I walked over to him and sat down before really thinking it through. I noticed that when I sat down though, Oikawa walked over to set some balls for Kindaichi.

“You know its for your own good, right?” I ask.

“I know,” he says quietly,” It’s just… It’s going to sound stupid… But sometimes overworking is the better option for me. I know it sounds weird… but if I am sitting still, I have time to think… I don’t really think when I play volleyball, except about volleyball. And sometimes if I overwork myself enough, I manage to make myself pass out, and then I can actually sleep for the night without nightmares.”

“Overworking isn’t good for you though,” I said looking at him,” And your team is counting on you to be there for their spring tournament. And you shouldn’t overwork yourself just so you fall asleep. Maybe try telling Oikawa and Iwaizumi about your nightmares. It might help.”

He nods. And we fall into comfortable conversation.

“You should ask if you can live with Kindaichi and his family,” He says suddenly,” I know your getting hurt at home. I also know what it’s like. Even if your too scared to tell someone, at least find a way to get out of there.”

The shock must be prevalent on my face because he responds to my unasked question.

“I know because you have eyes like mine,” he says. And before I can respond he jogs over to Oikawa who is waiting with both bags in hand.

That night I think about what he said as I am forced to take yet another dosage of the drugs and I am laid out on the bed for some blonde woman to use as she sees fit.

But I am fine.

_Women can’t rape men._

_It’s not rape, if you like it._

It was in my second year that I truly regretted not following the advice he gave me. I walked into my house and immediately knew something was wrong. My dad stood there, and there was a suitcase off to the side.

“I am leaving for good,” he says,” but before I do there is something I have been wanting to do for a while now.”

I had no time to think before the man is on me, my head is bashing into the hard floor. He has one hand around my neck, and he is squeezing. I am struggling for air to breathe as he yanks down my pants. And I struggle. I try to say stop. But the lack of air was causing my muscles to grow weak.

By the time it was over I was staring with glazed eyes at the wall. He left soon after. He left me with my pants pulled down around my ankles. The pain was too much to move and I tried to reach for my phone which had been thrown just barely out of my reach in the struggle. I heard it ringing.

_Why was it ringing?_

But I couldn’t form thoughts as I slowly began to blackout.

I woke up laying on something soft. My backend still hurt but my hair was wet like someone had washed me. And I was in softer, more baggy clothes. My eyes fluttered open to see a familiar face.

“Hey Akira,” I heard him say. “I was worried about you because I felt your pain. I got you from your house and brought you here. When you’re feeling a bit better, we will call the cops.”

I shook my head,” No cops.”

“But you need to put whoever did this in jail,” Kindaichi said. I could tell he was getting heated.

“He’s gone,” I said. My throat hurt. I didn’t want to think about why. “He told me that he was leaving and not coming back, and I want to just let it go.”

Yuutarou looked like he wanted to argue, but he seemed to think better of it when he saw my face.

“Okay,” he said quietly,” whatever you want okay. And when your ready I would really like to hear about everything, okay? Please stop keeping shit from me. I love you Akira. I want to help. And walking in on my boyfriend after he’d gotten raped scared the shit out of me.”

_It’s not rape, if you liked it._

_Right?_

_And I got turned on, that means it’s not rape, right?_

Things after that were slow getting better. I talked to Kageyama about random stuff. I tried to sleep. The showers I took were hours long. Some of them having to end with Kindaichi gently pulling me out of the boiling hot water and into his chest. I lost motivation. Volleyball got 5 times harder to play. And after some time Kageyama got busy with something that he legally could not talk to me about.

I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling when I got the message. The day was one where I didn’t have the energy to get out of bed. And with there being no school that day, I didn’t have to.

_**Shouyou**_ **has** _added_ You _,_ _**Kageyama Tobio, Tendou Satori**_ _,_ _**Shirabu Kenjirou**_ _,_ _**Goshiki Tsutomu**_ _,_ _**Yamaguchi Tadashi**_ _,_ _**Yaku Morisuke**_ _, and_ _**Akaashi Keiji**_ _to a group chat._

_**Shouyou:**_ _This is Hinata Shouyou from Karasuno High School._ _If_ _you have burning questions about your past that you need answered, come to Tokyo on Sunday. Kenma and Kuroo’s place. If you can’t or don’t want to that’s fine, it’s your choice. But if you have any desire to have answers, I have some._

_**Kageyama Tobio:** _ _Dumbass you have to send the address. And don’t just assume they know who your soulmates are. You are really fucking bad at this._

_**Shouyou:** _ _Listen bitch, you know better than anyone that this is not a good time to make me mad._

I smiled lightly at the two’s antics.

**_Me_ ** _: I’ll be there._

**_ Was I raped? _ **

**_ [Join the discord!!!](https://discord.gg/ebQ9kg5Q7r) _ **

**Author's Note:**

> Let me tell you... kunimi's story was a fucking journey. I had to cross check timelines constantly to make sure I am keeping within the dates. Like it's not easy.
> 
> I am having alot of fun writing this series. Let me know what you think!!!


End file.
